thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
