I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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