Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
