love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
