when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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