But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
