I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The adults are the big ones right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
