I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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