so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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