You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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