you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
