No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
