Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
