I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
