Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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