I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
