you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
