if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
