It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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