dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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