she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He did a backflip because drugs
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
