so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
