I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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