When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
