It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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