I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
