I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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