when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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