Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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