didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
