i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
