Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
