Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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