Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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