She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
