we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
