We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
