You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
