somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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