Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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