at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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