i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Is it because I queefed?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize
