wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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