he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
