Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I did not marry a roomba.
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