My brain says no but my pants say off.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
We are two peas in an std pod
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
