I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
