Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
