If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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