There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
